Things Fall Apart
Previously published at https://niic.net/ on Sept. 11, 2024.
“I believe that everything happens for a reason…and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
~Marilyn Monroe
To be honest, the first time I was asked to write this, I said “Sure, no problem!” I didn’t think writing an article would be difficult at the time. I’ve written things before — press releases, blog articles, etc. I didn’t realize that I would struggle as much as I did to write this.
In retrospect, I realized most things I’d written were about promoting the positive attributes of something or someone other than myself. Imposter syndrome, which I was already feeling rather strongly, overtook me. I was paralyzed by the vulnerability of writing about my struggles, but I made a promise that I intend to keep, so hopefully you’ll be able to glean something useful from the following.
THE BEGINNING IS ALSO THE MIDDLE
Spark Change was a project that I had believed would bring people who were interested in making positive change in their community together to connect, learn, and be inspired by speakers who were regional experts in the fields of Environmental Management, Community Development, the Arts, Historic Preservation, Health Equity, and Spirituality. It was a two-day event that would include tours, time for meeting and reconnecting with people, and exploration of reimagined rural spaces. This idea, solidified over months of planning, was scheduled for mid-May of 2024. It would be a coming out of sorts for my new business.
So why is this beginning also the middle? Spark Change didn’t start out this way. It didn’t start out with that name. As with many things, they start out with one idea and with time, blossom into something sometimes unrecognizable. This project’s beginning is a story unto itself involving partnerships, funding, and collaborators falling away. It’a is a story of creativity, fortitude and resilience, just as the second part of this story is, so this is as good a place to begin as any.
FALLING IS THE EASY PART
In its penultimate form, weeks before fruition, Spark Change appeared to have more online interest than the scheduled in-person event and lower than expected ticket sales reflected that. By late April, panic started to set in. Feeling trapped, I had to make a decision — end the project and potentially burn bridges or figure out a way to move forward. This lasted a few days and a few sleepless nights. Logically I knew that in-person events usually had last minute ticket buyers, but the pandemic had changed the in-person event landscape more than I had anticipated. I had hoped people were ready to meet face to face, but I was woefully wrong. I’m not saying everything else was perfect — it wasn’t, but I was also not looking for a dizzying number of people to attend. I was in the unenviable position of holding the fate of a struggling project and a business venture. I felt I had no choice but to move forward, as I felt I had much to lose. I debated taking the event online. Going online may seem like a completely intuitive decision. It wasn’t because of Spark Change’s in-person event objectives: 1. Promote a new business space that would house the educational event as an example of the adaptive reuse of a historic building, 2. Allow event participants to experience a historic downtown in revitalization where they would be able to shop and dine in local businesses. 3. Inspire and encourage people to meet and connect with experts and others who are interested in creating positive changes in their community. Luckily, I had a supportive business coach who helped me get out of my funk and see a different perspective, which helped me decide to live stream the entire event online.
WHEN YOU FALL GETTING UP IS HARD
May 2024 was difficult for me. The event would happen in a few days time and I had invested so much of myself in the project getting speakers together, finding a location, and creating schedules. It felt like a slow train wreck in process. I carefully planned the transition to an online event that included how and when to notify speakers, the event venue, the tour guide, and those that had already bought tickets. The decision was made to refund ticket holders as the objectives of meeting in-person couldn’t be met. I cut my losses and made the event free. I knew that this may not work and that I would lose many of the ticket buyers. It was a chance I had to take to hold a live event. There was a steep and quick planning curve. I would have to educate the speakers and make time for speaker practices for them to learn how to use the new streaming software. It wasn’t hard, just unfamiliar. I decided not to use the usual video conference softwares common throughout the pandemic. They didn’t provide branding or other features that would help the livestream appear less like a call and more like a show. I searched for slick, but easy to use software for both the producer and the guest. As luck would have it, I found that needle in a haystack software and already had the equipment I needed for a video podcast. This allowed me to concentrate on creating a software demo/instructional video for the speakers and practice time with them. YouTube would be the place to house the livestreams. I changed online ads, and updated the event website. I also steeled myself on the idea of being the host during the livestreams — solely producing each stream which included running tech in the background, asking questions, and writing introductions and video endings. If it wasn’t already obvious, I was a first time live streamer. First time live streamers are lucky to get any views during their initial stream, but speakers were already scheduled prior to the switch online for the day. This would give us the opportunity to have video that could be viewed at leisure by anyone after the event day. The educational videos could remain online indefinitely.
The first day of live streaming went off without a hitch. I streamed from 9am — 3pm with a break in between. I breathed a sigh of relief, but had a nagging feeling that the next day would be different and I wasn’t wrong. There were delays and tech issues, One of the streams had so many issues that it couldn’t be re-streamed. After 3pm a tour was scheduled, and a reception for those interested with appetizers and conversation followed. Rain cut the attendance of the tour and the reception, but I’m grateful for the small group of people that attended. That small cozy reception, on a rainy afternoon, concluded the project with storytelling, laughter, and genuine connection. I also had seven new videos added to my YouTube channel.
Would I do it again? Not in the same way, but I see promise in online interviews and hope do to do some in the future.
With that, here are some LESSONS LEARNED:
Adapt. Be flexible. Flow with change.
Flexibility can be a key when it comes to outcomes. While in process, being adaptable can help you see other avenues and maybe even better outcomes. Absolutism is resistance and can block solutions to challenges that may present themselves. Be like water and flow.
Your loss can also be your gain.
Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we planned. You can make a situation worse by continuing to invest time, money, and resources on a direction that is a dead end. You have to know when it’s time to let go. Assess circumstances regularly. If you have to switch gears and you know it will result in some loss, try to generate and find the upsides rather than seeing failure. Accept where you are so you can move forward.
Fear can be an ally. Find a confidant.
Fear helps to keep you safe and brings situational awareness.. It can also be paralyzing. So much so, you may find yourself unable to act. Find someone, if you can, who can help you change your perspective. It might not be a solution, but it can help you look at your situation differently. Take a deep breath, pause, and take some time to step away from the problem — change scenery, take a walk, talk to someone. When you can look at a situation more objectively, you’ll find yourself in a better headspace for finding solutions. Get out of your own head. Being a solopreneur can be incredibly lonely. Not everyone will support your work. If you can find someone to bounce ideas off of, whether it be a friend or a business coach, it can help keep you grounded and accountable.
THAT’S A WRAP.
In retrospect, I don’t consider the event a failure. It was a pivot, a change of plan and outcome. The event still happened, just not in the way it was previously planned. In some ways it turned out for the better. Being on camera turned out being not so bad, although I have a lot to improve. I got to put some of my unused equipment to use, enjoyed re-connecting with former colleagues that spoke at the event, and added more content to my YouTube channel. It worked out for the original event venue too. They were happy to have more time to put finishing touches on their renovation. The new reception venue was a remodeled historic home used as the owner’s business, a bread and breakfast, and meeting space. The owner wanted to meet new people and almost everyone at the reception was new to her. I learned some new software that I’m looking to make more use of, and I got to do something that I never thought I’d do — livestream. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t a failure.
In my entrepreneurial journey, I know there are still fears to overcome, big waves that I’ll have to ride, and mountains to climb. I just have to keep in mind that things can fall apart to make way for something new and hopefully better if I let it — and that’s just life.
If you’re interested in viewing the streams, you can find them at www.sparkchange.folianova.com or on YouTube @FoliaNova.